


Setting the Bar Low

by Sarah1281



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angels, Archangels, Brothers, Episode: s05e19 Hammer of the Gods, Family, Family Reunions, Gen, I just want to believe that Gabriel's family does care about him, JUST, Season/Series 05, cancelling the apocalypse, no family is perfect, not quite as much as they care about all their grand apocalypse plans, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-08
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-24 14:01:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2583938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah1281/pseuds/Sarah1281
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Gabriel stood against Lucifer, he never expected to be the Archangel left standing. Michael's not happy but it's occurring to Gabriel that he has a lot of things to say to this brother, too. Hopefully this reunion will be a little less stab-happy than the last one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Setting the Bar Low

Even after, Gabriel still couldn’t believe it had happened. It was never supposed to go like that. Never.

He had given those won’t-be vessels the tape telling them that by the time they saw it he’d be dead and cluing them in on how to trap Lucifer, hadn’t he? He had a moment’s distraction imagining their faces when they saw the video and realized that there was a chance after all, however dim, and then discovering that there was no longer any need for that. 

Maybe it wasn’t that funny. 

It wasn’t supposed to be-He had no interest in dying. It was why he hadn’t given Kali his real sword, why he had wanted Sam and Dean to just take their blood and go, why he had almost just waited in the car. But, to his horror, he found he just couldn’t seem to stay away. 

Not this time. 

It was probably all the Winchester’s fault. Angel kryptonite, they were. Just look what they had done to nice, stolid Castiel! 

He hadn’t wanted to die. But how could he kill his brother? One was hard, the other impossible. And even without his unwillingness, this was Lucifer. The Morningstar himself. How could anyone but Michael (or Dad if he would ever pick up the phone) hope to stand a chance against him? 

Gabriel was good. As one of the four Archangels he was very, very good. But Lucifer was and always had been better and there wasn’t even any bitterness there because it was just one of those immutable facts of the universe. 

But Lucifer had misjudged him. Underestimated him, undoubtedly. It had been so long that Lucifer had forgotten. Gabriel might have learned all his tricks from him once upon a time but it had been a long time since Gabriel had made them his own. 

Why use one layer of deception when you could always add another? 

Gabriel hadn’t really thought about it. He had just seen Lucifer so casually, so self-pityingly stab the doppelganger he clearly believed to be the real Gabriel in the heart. The light shining from the fake Gabriel hadn’t yet faded when the grace began to escape the dying Lucifer. 

It still didn’t make sense. He was looking at the body though that had never been Lucifer, not really, and Lucifer wore him badly. The wing marks were a little closer but none of it made sense. It had been so long and he had never thought to see his brother again and it was never supposed to be like this. How could it be like this? 

He couldn’t stand to see it and yet his eyes refused to look away. 

There was a flutter of wings behind him. How long had it been?

“Hello, Michael.” 

“Gabriel.” It was a strange voice but it was never the vessel that mattered. It wasn’t Dean, certainly. He was about as far from saying yes as he could get when Gabriel had seen him only a short while ago. It could have been anyone but it was Michael. 

They said nothing more for a while. What was there to say? 

Eventually, Michael spoke again. And why not? He was the one who had sought Gabriel out, not the other way around. “This wasn’t your destiny.” 

Gabriel turned around to face him. This body was young. “Well it’s a little late for that.” 

“How could you?” 

“He was going to kill me, Michael,” Gabriel said flatly. “He thought he had, in fact. He saw through one trick but not another and he thought he had killed me. He twisted the knife. Are you seriously telling me that you would rather that was how this story played out?” 

Michael shook his head impatiently. “Of course not. Lucifer was always going to die, Gabriel, but you had no part in that. Why would I want to add your death to this?” 

Gabriel crossed his arms. “Well believe me, brother, when I tell you that it was me or him. He was going to kill me the moment he realized the one he stabbed wasn’t really me. What should I have done? Fled again? I never could have fooled him for long, not when he was right there.”

“Maybe-” Michael broke off, shaking his head again. “Maybe then, yes. Maybe in the two minutes before you killed him, yes. Maybe then there was nothing else you could have done. But Gabriel, you shouldn’t have even been here in the first place!” 

“Hey,” Gabriel said, narrowing his eyes. “I got here first. These were my friends he was killing. And why, even? Because pagan gods annoy him?” 

“They always did,” Michael said distantly. “He never could stand for any but our father to have been worshipped, even though these pagan gods were quite unlike the mortal creatures.” 

“He never could stand for a lot of things,” Gabriel replied. “Live and let live was never a philosophy he could get behind.” 

“You’ve always been so good at hiding, Gabriel. Thousands of years. I wondered if you were dead. Raphael thought you were. I asked him how you could possibly have died and we wouldn’t have known but he’s come to believe that our father is dead as well and if he can accept the one he has no problem accepting the other,” Michael said heavily. 

Gabriel resisted the urge to squirm uncomfortably. What was he supposed to say? He hadn’t meant to upset his brothers, for all they had never seemed to care that their fighting was devastating him. Or at least they hadn’t cared enough. They had just looked at him, solemn and superior, and regretted that he was hurt but knowing that they were right. Raphael had understood a little better but when it came right down to it he had been able to pick a side and Gabriel just couldn’t. 

“I looked for you. We all did. Even Lucifer, I think, before…and then I looked for you after. It was never supposed to be just Raphael and I. And we couldn’t find you, none of us.” 

“What’s your point, Michael?” Gabriel asked. “I’m well aware of my mad skills.” 

“You could hide for all of us for so long and yet you couldn’t have avoided this confrontation?” Michael asked. “There was no way you could have fled again before he attempted to kill you?”

Gabriel looked away. 

“So then, again, I ask you why.” 

“I wanted…” Gabriel trailed off. How to explain? He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He wasn’t entirely sure what he did mean to do but Dean’s accusations had been trailing him for months now. “I didn’t want the apocalypse to happen.” 

“And…that’s it?” Michael couldn’t believe it. “You would kill our brother for something like that?” 

Anger flared. “You don’t get to lecture me about this, Michael. You two have only been waiting around for the world’s foremost anti-apocalypse spokesmen to suddenly change their mind and help you guys duke it out!” 

“And it wouldn’t have been to protect this world!” Michael shot back. 

Gabriel laughed bitterly. “Yeah, we all got the memo there.” 

“That’s different. I had to kill him, Gabriel, you know I did. He was a monster. He was out of control. He defied our father and betrayed you just as much as he betrayed me. It was my destiny.” 

Gabriel glanced back at the remains of their brother. “Was it?” 

“You had no right,” Michael bit out. 

“Maybe you’re the one with no right, did you ever think of that?” Gabriel demanded. “Your little truant vessel summed it up for me quite nicely. It’s just some prize fight between the two of you. It’s really your issues more than anybody else’s. Now Raphael might have given up on anything and you may have gotten everyone else to drink the Kool-Aid but it’s like what I told Lucifer: you and I know the truth. It was always about you and him and the fact you’d rather kill each other than let anything go and why should this world have to bleed for that?” 

“This world,” Michael repeated, shaking his head. “This world, this world. You talk as though any of it really matters.” 

“They were our father’s last creation,” Gabriel reminded him. “They were the best. They were the reason this all started, were they not?” 

Michael grimaced. “Not the best tactic to take if you wish to inspire any sort of warm regard, Gabriel. Father can create more. He can create better.” 

“You don’t know if he’s even still out there,” Gabriel said tiredly. 

“No but you were and I didn’t know that, either. And what could kill the most powerful being in the universe? You have to have faith.” 

“Me?” Gabriel couldn’t believe it. “I’m the one who has to have faith? I’m not the one who got bored of being left in charge and decided to just trash the place!” 

“If our father disapproved then why wouldn’t he step in and try to stop it?” Michael asked reasonably. “We all knew it was going to come to this one day.” 

“Well I don’t know, Michael,” Gabriel drawled. “What does Raphael think?” 

Michael glared at him. “Our father is not dead.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Yeah because that’s going to be true just because you say it is.”

“I have had this argument with Raphael for centuries,” Michael ground out. “Do not make me have it with you, too.” 

Gabriel shrugged. “I never was much one for fights. And I don’t really believe he’s dead, you know.”

Michael relaxed marginally. “You don’t?”

“He’s Dad. He created everything. What could kill him?” Gabriel asked rhetorically. Maybe Death but if Lucifer could bind him then how could he truly threaten their father? “Mind you, that means I think he’s kind of a deadbeat but there you go.” 

“Lucifer made him leave.” 

“Nobody makes him do anything,” Gabriel said, self-consciously echoing his last words to his brother. 

“You shouldn’t have killed him,” Michael said softly. 

Gabriel had to bite back the absurd impulse to apologize. It was ridiculous. Lucifer was every inch his brother that he was Michael’s and he had – well, no he was well aware that he had had a choice. That was the whole point. He had joined Team Free Will just in time to win big.

But it was the only choice he could live with and he hadn’t even…how had he come out on top? It was mad. It was true. Lucifer was going to destroy the world. Lucifer was going to kill Kali and do who even knew what to his and Michael’s vessels. Lucifer was going to kill him. And Michael had only been waiting around at the top to kill the Dread Pirate Lucifer himself anyway. 

“What would you have done,” Gabriel replied just as softly, “if he had killed me?” 

The answer was immediate. “I would have killed him.” 

Gabriel laughed. “Oh, marvelous, Michael. Simply marvelous! You would have killed him regardless.” 

Michael’s hands twitched. Anyone else might have thrown them up in the air. “And just what would you have had me do, Gabriel? I was already going to kill him.” 

Truthfully, Gabriel didn’t know. Would it really matter once he was dead and gone? Whatever happened to poor, dead angels? Did they even still exist? What had happened to Lucifer? It would be too unfair if human souls were indestructible and existed forever (possible exception for those that had become demons and were killed with that fancy gun or knife the Winchesters had) but angels faded into nothing, even if it could also be called unfair all the powers he and his brothers had that humans lacked. Maybe they got to chill with Dad. He wouldn’t want to risk it. 

Castiel might have something to say on the topic since Raphael had apparently blown him up once and he got better. 

He just…if he died, if Lucifer had killed him, then even after all this time, he didn’t want to be forgotten. He didn’t want Lucifer to feel sorry for himself for murdering his brother and for Michael and Raphael and the others to feel…whatever it was they felt, just hopefully something, and then to move right along and forget about him. 

Maybe it was petty. He hadn’t let any of them break him, the angels who died, Anael or Uriel or Zachariah or any of the rest, and he’d felt it and resolved even stronger to stay away. Just look how that had turned out. 

He had spent thousands of years running and hiding and it would only make sense if they had left him behind in turn. But he couldn’t bear the thought. How could he ever hope to explain that? Michael would never understand. No one could ever forget about him and, always the good son, he wouldn’t even care so long as he still felt he was doing his duty. 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Gabriel said airily. “Maybe yell at him a bit first. You know, for me.” 

“Should I yell at you for killing him then?” Michael asked. “Just in the interest of fairness.” 

“That’s not fair,” Gabriel protested. “I would have left him alone if he’d let me.” 

He tried not to think of Lucifer’s multiple attempts to talk him into standing down, even moments before Gabriel’s final refusal and the blade through the heart. 

“No, it’s not fair.” 

“Are you…seriously going to get mad that I got to kill our brother and you didn’t?” Gabriel demanded. “Because I got to tell you, bro, that brings this family’s level of dysfunction to a whole different level.” 

“It wasn’t about want, Gabriel. It was never about want. I didn’t want to kill Lucifer,” Michael said fiercely. 

Gabriel watched him for a moment. “Yeah except I think that you kind of did.” 

There was a sudden rise in temperature as Michael’s Grace flared but it was gone as quickly as it came. Michael’s aghast expression, however, was not. “Gabriel, how…how can you even say that?” 

“I’ve never had any great difficulty with words,” Gabriel told him. “And these words happen to be true.” 

“I loved Lucifer.” 

“So did I!” 

Michael didn’t bother giving voice to his obvious skepticism. 

“What, just because I killed him means I don’t love him?” Gabriel demanded. 

He’d been so…so…he didn’t even have the word. So displeased, for lack of a better term, at how Lucifer had seemed so sorrowful at the prospect of killing him even as he aimed for the heart. He would have bet anything that had Michael later brought it up (and would he even have?), Lucifer would have said the same thing, that his killing Gabriel didn’t mean he hadn’t loved him. 

And it would have been meaningless because he still made his choice, still chose his apocalypse over his family for only the thousandth time. But this was different. Surely it was different. 

“You’re only here because you’re mad I killed him first.”

“I’m not only here because of that, Gabriel,” Michael said. “Raphael believed you dead.” 

“Yeah, well, Raphael apparently thinks everyone’s dead the minute they leave the room. Really got to work on object permanence with that one,” Gabriel muttered. 

“Now, for the first time, you stop hiding and revealed yourself?” Michael asked rhetorically. “Of course I would come when I heard.”

“Raphael didn’t.”

“He will,” Michael said with calm certainty. “I confess I didn’t wait to discuss any of this with him before coming.” 

It was something, at least, even if Gabriel still believed that had more to do with Lucifer’s death than his sudden reappearance. “You came fast. I guess you had a back-up plan for Dean Winchestering up the apocalypse. Still, at least it wasn’t just you having that problem or it might have been embarrassing.” 

Michael glanced down at his hands. “Adam. It isn’t ideal but I’m coming to believe that, true vessel or not, neither is Dean. He has no concept of reality or his own responsibilities. I will keep my promise. He will be fine when I am through.” 

Dean didn’t look so out of touch with reality now that Lucifer was dead and the world un-ended but then these things were always a matter of perspective. And, knowing him, he’d say his responsibility was to save the world, not help Michael end it. He was maddeningly persuasive. 

“How can you think I wanted this, Gabriel?” Michael asked, looking as though he was trying to see right to the very heart of him. 

“Well it’s not like you ever did anything to try and stop it,” Gabriel pointed out. “Even I did that much, years ago.” 

“What choice was there?” Michael demanded. “You left. Lucifer was trapped and only stewing in his imagined slights. Raphael loses more faith by the day. Even paradise might not be enough and then where will we be? I had to do my duty. There was no one else.” 

No one but the thousands of other angels, that is, but Gabriel knew what he meant. There were archangels for a reason. He tried not to let Michael’s words affect him. 

“I didn’t abandon you.” 

“Didn’t you?” Michael challenged. “You left without a word, the same way our father did. I can see how that was Lucifer’s fault, how Father would not stay and watch the corruption of his most brilliant angel. What’s your excuse?” 

Gabriel smiled ruefully. “The same one, I’m afraid, but it wasn’t just Lucifer. You say Dad couldn’t bear to watch everyone fighting and plotting to kill each other? Well neither could I. I’m not like you, Michael. Maybe I should be but I’m not you don’t even need to tell me what you think of my sense of responsibility. You or Lucifer coming out on top, that wasn’t victory. I couldn’t even choose and I couldn’t stand by and watch everything I cared about crumble to nothingness. I had to go. You think Raphael has lost faith? And just what do you think would have happened to me if I’d stayed? You want to judge me for what I became? You probably will, Lucifer took the time to before trying to kill me, the very first thing he said to me since I left. But whatever my mistakes, whatever I’m trying to make up for now, I had to leave.” 

Michael nodded slowly, clearly attempting to understand. 

On one level, what he had said was true. He hated the fighting, too, and wanted to end it. It was just that Michael thought of ending it by killing Lucifer and purifying the world while Gabriel had just wanted it to end no matter how that played out since he had never really believed they would all make it out of there alive. Raphael had wanted an end but a victorious one and he had thrown his lot in with Michael. Even Lucifer, for all he would let nothing stand in his way and was so convinced of his own righteousness, hadn’t wanted to fight his brothers. To fight Michael, in particular, even after Michael hadn’t hesitated in throwing him into the pit. 

No, none of them had wanted their little civil war but they were all willing to fight anyway. All but Gabriel. Until one day, this day, he was willing, too. He had expected it to mean his own death, not Lucifer’s. It wasn’t like Lucifer had let him kill him. 

“You didn’t come back,” Michael said eventually. “Once it was over, if you had just left to avoid the fighting, why didn’t you come home?” 

Gabriel let out a startled laugh. “Over? Brother, Lucifer was just put in the penalty box; it wasn’t over.” 

“But surely-” Michael began, furrowing his brow. 

Don’t call me Shirley, Gabriel might have said if the situation was a different one. But then, why would Michael even be here if it was? 

“If I had come back,” he interrupted gently, “then even if I left again once Lucifer was out and avoided the fighting then it would have been as good as declaring for you. I’m not Uriel. I’d never be a closet supporter.” 

“Even if I could accept that,” Michael said, not even questioning how Gabriel had known about that, “your way of not wanting any of this does not invalidate my own.” 

Gabriel nodded. “Oh, I’m not saying that it does. Castiel, for instance, didn’t want this and he went out and was hunted and killed working to stop it.” 

A shadow passed across Michael’s face. “Castiel. He rebelled but he did not stand with Lucifer. He has more faith than many who remained loyal and still searches for our father. He is too attached to this world and Dean Winchester in particular. What am I to do with him now that the fighting is over?” 

Gabriel snorted. “Please. You wouldn’t even hesitate to destroy him if Raphael hadn’t already tried it and he got better.” 

“Raphael thought that maybe Lucifer had done it.”

Gabriel just stared at him. “Right.” 

He didn’t need to say anything else and Michael’s expression indicated his agreement. 

“It was-it was good to see a miracle again after so long,” he said wistfully. “To see proof that He is still out there after so long of having to go by faith alone. It’s one thing for a human to live like that for perhaps a century but after the centuries start to blur together…I may not understand and may find myself appalled by Castiel’s actions but I will not move against Father.” 

“No, come hell or high water, you never will,” Gabriel mused. He never could decide if that made Michael more or less dangerous or unpredictable. He cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t worry overmuch. As long as the end of the world is no longer nigh, I’m sure he’ll fall back in line. He didn’t seem to be enjoying his truancy when I last saw him.” 

“Why did you say I wanted to kill Lucifer?” Michael asked, apparently unable to let that lie any longer. 

Gabriel sighed. “Is there anything you can think of, anything at all, that would have stopped you from killing him?” He didn’t turn around. “Well, other than the decision being taken out of your hands.” 

There was a terrible silence. “No. But what choice did I have? Gabriel, you knew Lucifer as well as I did. You saw what he once was and it broke your heart as much as mine when he fell but he did and he became a monster. What kind of monster would I be if I just let him? Especially if it were out of residual sentiment?” 

“Pretty words, Michael,” Gabriel told him, clapping lightly. “But heaven was never under threat. If you just took everyone home, he wouldn’t have fought you on it. He’d have had hell and Earth and it would have been enough.” 

Michael raised his eyebrows. “Is that how you would have advised me, Gabriel? I know you wanted to stop the fighting but I had been led to believe the Earth meant a little more to you than that.” 

He was right, of course, and there was no point in denying it. While the fighting was pretty conclusively ended with Lucifer’s death, the whole reason he had hated it in the first place was because he didn’t want any of his brothers to be hurt or killed. For him to have killed Lucifer, however he had managed that, he had to have had at least a passing interest in his little safe space. 

“I do,” Gabriel acknowledged easily. “But you don’t. You weren’t trying to save Earth and the humans from Lucifer.” 

“If by ‘save’ you mean ‘keep it as it is’ then, no, you’re right about that,” Michael said. “But I do have an interest in purifying this world and making it a paradise. I wanted to bring the humans to heaven instead of letting them be dragged off to hell. Is that not saving them?” 

“You only care about winning,” Gabriel accused. 

Michael gave a long-suffering sigh. “And just what do you think winning is, Gabriel? I was to fight the Devil. Heaven or hell. The stakes couldn’t have been higher and the universe would be a far better place for my triumph.”

But not as good as if they had just left the universe alone. 

“What you say is true,’ Gabriel conceded reluctantly. “But it wasn’t about that. You wanted to win. You wanted to be the good son.” 

“You say that as though it’s a bad thing,” Michael said. “I wanted to please our father. I wanted to stop a monster. What’s so wrong about that?” 

Gabriel didn’t think he’d ever be able to explain exactly what was wrong with destroying an entire planet and leading to the deaths of countless of their brothers if Michael somehow didn’t see it. It was just one of those things. 

“That, right there, is why I said you wanted to fight Lucifer,” Gabriel said quietly. 

Michael flinched. “It…might…seem like a-a fine distinction, between wanting to stop Lucifer and be a good son and actually wanting to fight him. It’s an important one, however. I wanted the end results of defeating him; I just didn’t want to have to kill him to do so. But I will not flinch from my duty.”

“This is the part that gets a little fuzzy,” Gabriel acknowledged. “You say you didn’t want to fight Lucifer and I don’t disbelieve that. But you made the choice to commit to this apocalypse and that means you must have wanted to make that choice more than you didn’t. Wanting but not wanting.” He laughed. “We are all fucked, aren’t we? It’s the kind of dysfunction I see in humans. And I’m the same way.” 

“I didn’t choose this,” Michael protested immediately, his jaw tightening at the human comparison. “It was my duty. My destiny! And don’t pretend that you don’t know who made it so.” 

Lucifer, a little, for rebelling in the first place but mostly their father for laying all that on Michael. What might they all have been if Father had just taken care of it himself? It hurt to think about. Lucifer was free will at its worst. Gabriel would like to think he wore it better but that was damning him with some pretty faint praise. 

“Dad’s gone, Michael. I don’t believe he’s dead either but he’s been gone for a long time and who knows if he’ll ever come back. You can’t just pretend you had no choice. No one makes us do anything and they certainly couldn’t make you.” 

“There was no choice,” Michael said stubbornly. “None. That is the point of destiny. You can pretend you have free will all you want but you don’t. None of us do.” 

Gabriel stared at him. 

“What?” Michael asked eventually. 

“I just don’t even know what to say to that,” Gabriel admitted. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard since that time Thor’s drunken storytelling convinced people I had given birth to an eight-legged horse. Not actually true, by the way, I was just on hand to help when Sleipnir’s mother was in labor.” 

Michael never did bite. 

“There’s nothing ridiculous about this though I understand it is unpleasant. Free will is a very popular illusion. But think about it. What are the odds that everything would have just happened to work out the way it did to bring us here? Lucifer rebelled, I stopped him, you fled, Raphael stayed. Humans advanced and Lucifer and I suddenly had true vessels that were brothers and recreated our own conflict on a much smaller level. How could it be anything but fate? If there was free will then anyone over the course of thousands of years could have made a different choice and we wouldn’t be here. So why didn’t they?” 

Gabriel took a moment before responding. “Now that is just intellectually lazy. Seriously, bro? Things worked out the way they did so therefore no free will? What, if Lucifer had stayed put like a good boy or Mary Winchester became a nun you’d be standing here insisting there was no other way that things could have worked out, too? Things worked out the way they did because of the choices everyone involved made.” He paused. “And, in recent times, a boatload of angelic and demonic manipulation. What are the odds? I couldn’t tell you. One out of an infinite number of possibilities, I suppose. Not likely compared to the chances of literally any other reality combined but no less likely than any individual possibility. And if John Winchester had stayed dead after Azazel killed him then I suppose two other sad SOB’s would win the genetic lottery and maybe they’d be more compliant.” 

“It’s a nice thought, Gabriel,” Michael said, a touch patronizingly. “But you can’t possibly prove it.” 

“And you can?” Gabriel countered. “We only live in one universe and you know what kind of reliability ‘alternate futures’ have. But it is a nice thought, Michael, and one that doesn’t make you ask awkward questions like why Dad would want us to tear ourselves apart, for Lucifer to fall and be imprisoned and for you two to kill each other. To leave us all alone until we’re going mad and doing things that, if we’re being honest, we know he would never approve of.” 

“It is a nice thought,” Michael repeated wistfully. “But that doesn’t make it true. It would be nice to think Father was still around but, no matter how sincerely people believe otherwise, he is not. And we can make choices all we want. I’ve done it. But it’s all part of the plan and so there’s no free will. It really is that simple. Omniscience.” 

Gabriel rubbed the bridge of his nose exasperatedly. “But you don’t even believe that! Not really.” 

Michael appeared momentarily lost for words. “You can’t just tell me what I do or do not believe. And what possible reason would I have for lying about this?” 

“It’s not lying, exactly,” Gabriel amended. “But think of it like this. If there is no free will then it’s not Lucifer’s fault that he fell. It’s not Dean’s fault he wouldn’t say yes. It’s not my fault that…well, any of the things you probably blame me for. And yet I’ve seen how angry you get at Lucifer. You admitted to losing patience with Dean. And as far as you and me…well.” 

That surprised him but Michael wouldn’t have managed to remain convinced he was following their father’s will thousands of years after they had last seen him if he wasn’t good at adapting. 

“Maybe it was meant to be but he still did it,” Michael said, his focus taken up – like it often was – by Lucifer. “The illusion of free will is so tantalizing for a reason. It never could have ended any other way than it did but that’s because he’d always rebel. It was who he was. And I think it’s more than fair to be angry at him for being a monster who ruined everything.” 

Cognitive dissonance, thy name is Michael. 

“So people have free will but – because of who they are – they’ll always freely make the same choice? That’s just…I don’t even know.” 

“Fascinating philosophical debate though it may be,” Michael said dryly, “does it really make any practical difference if someone makes a choice of their own free will or if they only believe they are while following their destiny?” 

“It certainly does when you’re refusing to consider any other option because there’s no free will and you think you have to!”

Michael shook his head. “But does it, really? Whether I am right or you are and I am merely freely choosing to try and follow my destiny, my answer does not change.” 

“And that, right there is the problem,” Gabriel murmured. “Sam never said yes. Dean never said yes. He even managed to kill Zachariah when he kept, shall we say, pressing the issue. I think everybody has given up on them at this point. And I killed Lucifer. Apocalypse fucking cancelled. He’s not in the box anymore and there’s nothing you can do to put it back on schedule unless Dad brings him back, too, in which case I’ll admit I was wrong about the apocalypse being his plan. Or unless you want to destroy the Earth yourself, no pretense of a fight.” 

“Don’t be absurd,” Michael snapped. “And we wouldn’t just let demons destroy the world, either. We have a duty.” 

“You didn’t seem to have a duty when you waited until Dean broke the first seal to save him so he could serve as your vessel,” Gabriel reminded him. “Or when you sent people off to try and protect hundreds of individual seals when all it would take is killing Lilith before enough seals were broken and you more than had the power to. Or when you literally freed Lucifer’s vessel and sent him off to go kill Lilith and start the apocalypse.” 

“It was always our duty to stop the apocalypse.” 

Gabriel shook his head. “No, stopping the apocalypse was what I did and what the Winchesters were working towards since they even heard the word ‘apocalypse.’ You wanted to win it.”

“It was destiny.” 

“Oh, that word!” Gabriel exploded. “I do not think it means what you think it means, I really don’t. Tell me this: if it was so inevitable, so freaking destined, then why couldn’t you have just let it happen? Why did you have to do everything short of killing Dean yourself and torturing him until he broke to get it started?” 

“The time was right,” Michael defended himself. “And you overstate things. We did not kill him. We did not manipulate him into making that deal. We did not kill Sam. We did not interfere until the time came to pull him from hell.” 

“You didn’t stop Azazel’s really blatant maneuvering towards the apocalypse.” 

“Neither did you.” 

Gabriel threw his hands in the air. “I was largely out of the loop. I’m just one being. You had all the heavens at your command. You had to have known.” 

“You could have known, too, if you weren’t hiding,” Michael said severely. 

Well, he did have him there. 

“We only had so much time,” Michael said again. “Humans have such short lifespans and they both lead such dangerous lives. If we didn’t have the apocalypse then, what should we have done? Hoped we’d have more true vessels? Used vessels that could not contain us for long?”

Gabriel made a face. “Oh, don’t even try to pretend it’s an imposition to bring a human back to life or make them younger if need be.” 

“And I suppose when I did the same for Sam you wouldn’t take issue with my pro-apocalyptic actions?” Michael asked rhetorically. 

“All I’m saying is that if it’s an inescapable action then the apocalypse should have happened without your cooperation,” Gabriel insisted. 

“You’re seriously suggesting that we should have waited around quietly and just expected the apocalypse to happen all by itself?” Michael asked incredulously. 

“Well, it’s not like I include Lucifer and his backup dancers in that expectation,” Gabriel said. “I do acknowledge the odds of an apocalypse happening with nobody working towards it is pretty low. Which, really, great for me but you’re going through a Revelations phase.” 

“I don’t suppose that you’d be content with us just passively waiting for hell to start the apocalypse either,” Michael said pointedly. 

Gabriel shrugged. “Well, no, but I never did like for playtime to be over.” 

“So, really, all you expected-”

“Hoped, really,” Gabriel interrupted. “I’ve been reliably informed that I am a cynic. And a high-functioning sociopath, for that matter, but it’s not like he did his research so let’s not even go there.” 

“Hoped, then, was that the others and I would wait for the legions of hell to succeed in starting the apocalypse while we did everything in our power to stop them,” Michael said flatly. 

Gabriel spread his hands out in front of him. “Well, yeah, Mikey, but you say that like it’s not a reasonable request when if the apocalypse was really inevitable it shouldn’t even derail your end of days dream. I get how you wouldn’t want to actually lose to the Lucifer groupies but come on. And if that’s what virtually any human not associated with the Winchesters would have expected anyway. And even Sam and Dean until Zachariah let that one out of the bag.” 

“The apocalypse would still happen if we had done as you said,” Michael said slowly. “In the past, we have stood against efforts to free Lilith, to free Lucifer and it worked. There was no reason to assume that, with Azazel being as open as he was, it would not have worked this time, too. Once Lilith was freed, little save killing her prematurely – which would have meant no apocalypse at all – would have kept Lucifer caged forever. There are righteous men other than Dean Winchester, condemned to hell despite their virtue through ill-advised crossroads deals. But the prospect of waiting thousands, even millions of years more when it was so close, when the true vessels were right here…”

“I understand, you know,” Gabriel told him. “I mean, I’m still not ready to put my toys away and head home and I still haven’t managed to keep up with the Kardashians but I get it. But the thing about all that destiny crap you keep yammering on about? It can’t be escaped. Just because you were promised paradise one day doesn’t mean it’s cool to cut the field trip short at two.”

“He didn’t stop us.” 

“He didn’t stop Lucifer. Really, if you’re going to assume that anything that doesn’t make Dad come back from Tahiti and ground you is cool then you might as well just set yourself up as the new ruler of hell now because it won’t get Daddy’s attention and if you don’t act in the next two minutes I’m pretty sure that Crowley kid’s going to have his name carved into the wall.” 

Michael glared at him. “I would hope you’d think better of me than that.” 

There were so very many things that Gabriel could say to that, few if any that wouldn’t piss Michael off further, and so he elected not to say anything. 

“The Winchesters were trying to stop the apocalypse but everyone knew they couldn’t,” he continued. “More than not being able to stop it, they had more to do with starting it than any other human, even disregarding their status as vessels since they weren’t very…receptive to the idea.” 

“That wasn’t all their fault,” Gabriel said, feeling oddly compelled to defend them despite their almost malicious refusal to stop being codependent enough to end the world. “What would anyone do after thirty years of the worst of hell’s personal attention? If he’d hung on for a thousand, they had time to wait. And, very very stupid demon blood addiction aside, unless you happen to know that killing Lilith opens the box – which everyone made sure he didn’t know – then killing her seems like a great and world-saving idea.” 

“It only goes to show how powerless they were to stop it,” Michael said. “If it was their fault then, in a world with free will, they could have acted otherwise. But they didn’t. They couldn’t. And then you killed Lucifer.” 

“Kind of puts a dent in your whole ‘destiny’ thing. It makes your determination to light this fuse more understandable and completely inexcusable.” 

“I just…I don’t understand, Gabriel,” Michael said, looking almost forlorn. 

Against his will, Gabriel could feel himself softening. “Neither do I. I mean…he’s Lucifer. He was always supposed to die fighting you, maybe killing you. And I was never meant to be a part of that story.” 

“Then why are we here, brother?” Michael asked gravely. “Help me understand. Why would you even try to kill Lucifer?” 

Gabriel fidgeted. “He was trying to destroy the world. I didn’t want it to happen and the little apocalypse starters wouldn’t stop pestering me until I admitted it. And Kali had no sense which really shouldn’t have surprised me and how could I run again? Had to make a last stand, you know? But he was Lucifer. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.”

Michael took a moment to respond. “It wasn’t supposed to end with Lucifer killing you, either.” 

“Wasn’t it?”

Michael took a step closer. “No.” 

“Well it was that or what really did happen, me somehow doing in the Devil,” Gabriel said. “‘Disappointed’ might be a bit mild for how you’re feeling.”

“That doesn’t mean you should have died,” Michael insisted. “Why did you even have to let it come to that? He would have left you alone.” 

Gabriel let out a disbelieving laugh. “What, I should have run away? Again?”

“In this case?” Michael asked rhetorically. “Yes!” 

“Well, sorry, but that ship has finally sailed.”

“I can’t really understand why you would fight him, especially if you believed you would die, especially if it wasn’t your duty,” Michael told him.

“I didn’t want to die,” Gabriel clarified. “It just seemed like the least bad option.”

“That really isn’t helping clear things up for me.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Haven’t you been getting tired after all this time with not even a good old-fashioned plague to let us know Dad’s still alive out there?”

“There was Castiel,” Michael pointed out. 

“Which Raphael managed to blame on Lucifer.” 

“Honestly, Gabriel, if we did have a plague don’t you think Raphael might also find a way to blame that on Lucifer?”

Gabriel’s lip twitched. “You may have a point there.” 

“I understand being tired, Gabriel. That’s why we wanted the apocalypse to hurry up and get here,” Michael said. “But I do not understand engaging in an action you believed would lead to your own destruction.” 

Gabriel’s jaw dropped. “Says the guy just itching to go a few rounds with one of maybe three beings that could kill him in all of existence.” 

“I had every expectation of my survival,” Michael said placidly. “And I hardly wanted to but it was my duty.”

There was little point in starting another argument about how there wasn’t much difference in wanting to do your duty and wanting to do what that duty actually consisted of. He knew Michael would split hairs all night long. 

“And I don’t understand your duty kink. So there.” 

“Even accepting that I might never understand your reasons, not really, I don’t understand how you could have even killed him,” Michael said again. “It was my destiny, not yours.” 

“Oh, Michael, you have no idea how much I wish I could have just let you do it,” Gabriel said tiredly. 

“As you keep reminding me, nobody makes us do anything,” Michael replied. “Not even follow our destiny. So why didn’t you?” 

His old standby that he couldn’t bear the fighting was just as true now as it ever was but it would ring false now that he had Lucifer’s blood on his hands. 

“I killed Lucifer here and he’s the only one who died,” Gabriel said simply. “I let you do it and maybe he takes you with him. You’d both level the Earth, though.” He held up a hand to forestall any objections Michael might make. “And yes, I know you don’t care about this world or these people. But I do. I couldn’t choose you or him but I did finally choose them.” 

Michael was quiet for a long time. “Well, I suppose if your goal was to stop the end of the world – but really, Gabriel, you know it has to end sometimes – then that does make sense.” 

That was quite the admission from Michael. Gabriel knew that no one who didn’t happen to be an Archangel or their father himself ever would have gotten it. Who knew? If he’d been one of the rank and file, Michael might have even killed him by now. He’d killed Anael for less, hadn’t the? And Raphael had rather unnecessarily exploded Castiel for taking Dean to Lilith with the knowledge of her status as the final seal. 

“I really don’t know how it happened,” Gabriel said again. “Lucifer was always always stronger than me. He still was today. But he expected a cheap trick and he expected to see through it. He did. It just never occurred to him that I’ve been in this faking death business for a very long time and started doing a second double in case they saw through the first one centuries ago. They never see the second fake coming; they’re always too pleased with themselves for seeing through me. I guess he never seriously considered that anyone other than you could have taken him out, either. And now here we are.”

“I don’t understand,” Michael said stubbornly. 

“Well I’m sorry to have upended your whole world like that, Mikey, and I’m sorry that I had to make the choice to kill Lucifer,” Gabriel said. “Though, honestly, if I could stomach it, I’d do the same thing all over again.” 

Michael sighed heavily. “That much, at least, I can understand.”

“That is an upside for you, then,” Gabriel said. “Since I know you don’t consider the world not ending one like, you know, a normal person would.”

Michael just raised an eyebrow at that. Yeah, it probably was a little much to expect an Archangel to behave like anyone’s definition of a normal person.

He soldiered on. “You didn’t want to kill Lucifer but you felt you had to. Now you don’t through no fault of your own. No one can blame you for failing in your duty. If anything, they’ll just blame me.”

“Well they should blame you for single-handedly ruining the apocalypse.”

Gabriel coughed. “I believe the term is ‘saving the world’.”

“It wasn’t your intention, I know, but in sparing me from having to end our fallen brother, you took up that burden,” Michael said seriously.

Gabriel groaned. “I’m kind of trying not to think about that right now.”

“Will it be any easier in a week or a year or a millennia?” Michael asked knowingly. 

Gabriel looked away. “Well it’s never going to change. I’m always going to have done it. I will always be the one who killed Lucifer and even if it’s what our brothers wanted – though not quite like this – it’s still…he was our brother and you might have been prepared to live with that to your name but I wasn’t. I’m not.”

“It won’t be so bad,” Michael said gently. “You believe that you did the right thing.”

“You don’t.”

“I’m not the one who has to live with this,” Michael said. “Just hold to your belief and it will be fine.” 

Gabriel laughed bitterly. “None of us have been all that great at keeping the faith, bro. I mean, maybe Castiel but let’s be honest. It was love that started him on that little quest for Camelot.” 

“That was after thousands of years,” Michael said, clearly resisting the urge to argue about his not having given up faith. And in a way he hadn’t but something had clearly gone very wrong if he was pulling for the end of everything and the chance to kill Lucifer. He almost wished he had been there to find out what. “You just need to make it through the immediate future. Please don’t tell me that, even with your worryingly self-destructive intentions, you put yourself in a position where you might kill our brother unless you were really sure of yourself. Because I can promise you that if Lucifer had killed your or me or any of us, he’d have had no doubts.”

“He never did,” Gabriel said, shaking his head. “And look how that worked out. But no, Michael, of course I wouldn’t have been there at all if I weren’t finally sure.” 

“Then you’ll survive,” Michael said simply. “I do find myself curious on one point, Gabriel, though I suppose that it really doesn’t matter now.”

“Oh?” 

“You killed Lucifer to save your precious planet,” Michael said. “Good, evil, you haven’t said a word about that. You said you didn’t choose me. Well, what if I had been standing there instead of Lucifer. Would you have killed me?”

“Would you have fallen for the same trick Lucifer did?”

“Appealing to my ego won’t work, Gabriel,” Michael said, though he sounded almost amused. “I’m not actually Lucifer.” 

“Worth a try,” Gabriel said, shrugging.

“And that is still not an answer.”

“Well it’s not as though Lucifer would have stopped trying to destroy the world if I did and he definitely would have killed me for killing you,” Gabriel said. “He was kind of possessive, you know? But honestly…yes. You’re more powerful than me and I doubt I’d get that lucky twice but…yes.” 

“They really mean that much to you,” Michael said, surprised but not all that bothered by Gabriel’s admission. 

Another shrug. “They were all I had for thousands of years. And they didn’t deserve to get our family trouble inflicted on them. No, not even the ones killed by an angel and sent straight to heaven.” 

“You could have had us,” Michael pointed out. “In fact, though you were doing everything you could to stay away from us, you did have us. We were right where we always were. Even Raphael didn’t want to think you were dead.” 

Raphael, if he had been there, probably would have had a great deal to say about the ‘even Raphael’ bit but Gabriel knew what he meant. 

“And even Lucifer didn’t want to kill me,” Gabriel said grimly. “And look how that turned out.” 

“It does seem a little…petty to hold his attempt to kill you against him since he failed and you killed him instead,” Michael noted. 

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “Oh, like you’re any better!” 

“Actually, I’ll have you know that out of the many many things I’ve held against Lucifer over the years, his willingness to kill me isn’t one of them,” Michael corrected him. “After all, I was going to try and do the same thing to him.” 

“Well that’s very liberal-minded of you,” Gabriel grumbled. “Forgive me if I’m not so ready to let it go yet.” 

Michael simply nodded. 

“You know, you are taking this whole me killing Lucifer and stealing your destiny and ruining your apocalypse thing a lot better than I thought you would,” Gabriel said suddenly. 

“I’m still struggling to accept that this was even possible,” Michael admitted. “But how exactly were you expecting me to react?” 

“Well Lucifer tried to kill me for calling him a dick and referring to his whole humanity thing as a tantrum,” Gabriel pointed out. 

“I’m sure you were very infuriating about it,” Michael said. 

“Words are words, bro. You’d think that he of all people would get that. Is ‘great big bag of dicks’ more provocative than just calling him a dick?” Gabriel wondered. 

“I can only assume so. All I can say to that, Gabriel, is that I am the good son and hopefully that translates over to the good brother as well,” Michael said. 

“Well you’ve never tried to kill me.” 

“You haven’t even fallen though we could easily spend a decade discussing all the various rebelling you’ve done and what would killing you do? I can’t trade you for Lucifer and even if I could I’d only bring him back to kill him again.” 

Gabriel forced himself to roll his eyes. “Well if you want to be all mature about it.” 

“You left to avoid the fighting. You stayed away because it still wasn’t over. Well what about now, brother?” Michael asked. “Will you come home?” 

Gabriel winced. “Michael-”

“A very long time ago,” Michael interrupted. “I lost two brothers pretty close to each other. I wasn’t happy but part of it was destiny and I had my duty. Now Lucifer is dead and not even at my hands. He is lost far more fully than he was before. And that was your doing. But here you are. If I must lose one brother to death, don’t make me lose you again, too. You haven’t even seen Raphael yet.”

“I can see why he’d need to see me to believe me,” Gabriel murmured absently. “You know we can’t go back.” 

“No,” Michael said distantly. “Lucifer is gone. Even when Father comes back…it will never be as before. But surely there’s some middle ground between pretending that the last couple thousand years never happened and you just leaving again.” 

“What are you suggesting?” 

“I don’t expect you to just pick right back up as the Messenger today, Gabriel. One day, perhaps, but that’s your choice. If I try to make you I think I know what to expect,” Michael said. “I’m not even asking you to come back permanently. Not today. Just…come with me. Come see Raphael. Come see the others. At least take a good look around and see if it’s like what you remember. I must confess, having stayed in heaven all these years I really can’t recall if it has changed. Aside from the obvious.” 

It sounded good. It sounded easy. But it couldn’t be that simple after so long away, after killing Lucifer. Did Michael really think it could be or was he just determined to have at least a chance to bring him back into the fold? He hadn’t so much as spoken to his own kind for far too long before little Castiel had barged into his half-hearted attempt to persuade the Winchesters and now, here with Michael, it all felt so painfully familiar. 

He didn’t want to go back. Not really. He didn’t even know if he could. Things could never be the same and all the differences just might kill him. 

But Michael was still looking at him, almost hopeful, and – for the best or not – he had just ruined heaven’s five-year plan forever. And he’d seen Lucifer and Michael so could he really pass up checking in to see how Raphael was doing and had really turned into as big of a Nietzsche wannabe as Michael was implying? 

“Well, I might as well check it out,” Gabriel said slowly. “I’m sure there’s going to be a killer party what with our awesome victory today.” 

“Will there be?” 

“Give me twenty minutes. But I do reserve the right to leave at an time and not surface again for like five hundred years, just so you know,” Gabriel warned. 

“I’d much rather you reserved that right than exercised it,” Michael said smoothly. 

“I might do that, too!” 

“Well you’ll never be able to plot your second escape from heaven if you don’t get back up there in the first place.” 

Gabriel glanced at Michael suspiciously. “Are you…are you patronizing me?” 

“Never,” Michael promised. “Now do you still remember the way or do you need me to help you?” 

“For the record, I didn’t miss you in the slightest.” 

“For the record I intend to see to it that you don’t have cause to miss me this time, either.” 

Gabriel paused and tilted his head. “By not leaving me alone or by channeling Lucifer and his giant bag of dicks tendencies? Or channeling Lucifer while never leaving me alone?” 

Michael merely smiled. 

“Oh, I see how it is,” Gabriel complained. “You’re too noble to just openly punish me for what I did so you’re going to torture me in little ways, is that it? Well, as a successful Trickster impersonator, I am an expert at these things and you will not beat me!” 

Michael’s smile widened. That could mean any number of things. He disappeared and Gabriel followed after him. 

Home.


End file.
